First and foremost, this post will take you longer than five minutes to read.
This post is actually based on an Ensign article from April, 2016 and it is called, "Taking the Fear Out of Dating," by Michael A. Goodman. I would like to share with you some highlights while I was reading the article and I hope you will learn something new.
He mentions;
"Dating and courtship can be both brutal and beautiful. Because life is busy and dating sometimes causes frustration, some young people may choose to simply not date. .. Yet prophets continue to encourage young single adults to become more engaged in trying to become engaged to realize the ideal of marriage and family.
Though no one can fully control the process of progression toward marriage ..
Patiently Prepare Yourself
Ask yourself, “How can I create more wholeness and happiness in my life now so I can eventually share that happiness with another?” Then act on the inspiration and the ideas that come. .. Some young adults pray and long for a temple marriage but feel they have no power to obtain one. .. Doctrine and Covenants 58:3–4 applies:
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
“For after much tribulation come the blessings.”
Sometimes tribulation simply means that things don’t happen when you think they should. In the words of Elder Neal A. Maxwell, you must exercise “faith in the Lord’s timing for you personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes.” This doesn’t mean you simply stand by. As the Prophet Joseph Smith wrote to the Saints, "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.".
Live Life Relationally
You can also prepare for your ideal marriage by learning to live your life relationally (that is, focused on building all types of relationships with others) before you find yourself in a dating relationship. Many feel so much pressure to focus on individual achievement and self-fulfillment that they put these things ahead of other people. ..
.. The Savior taught us to prioritize our relationships with God and with each other above all else. If it becomes your nature to love God and love your neighbor, you’ll be better prepared to develop the kind of dating relationship that can blossom into eternal love.
Seek Opportunities
Put yourself in places where you can develop relationships with the kind of people you want to date. Though you might find a gem anywhere, you will more likely find one if you go where gems are often found. ..
If you would like to date people who have a strong relationship with God, go where people are striving to develop a strong relationship with God. .. You will meet the kind of people you would like to date by going to places and doing the kinds of things that those people do.
Deepen Select Relationships
As you live life relationally and seek opportunities, you will make many friends and acquaintances. .. Purposefully seek to deepen these relationships. Find opportunities to discuss topics beyond daily activities.
Show those you care about that you enjoy spending time with them. .. You may even feel inspired to invite someone to an activity that will allow the two of you to get to know each other in a deeper, more personal way. Before you know it, you might find yourself dating.
Communicate Expectations Openly
Once you begin dating, you must see the experience for what it is and recognize what it is not. Unhealthy and inaccurate expectations cause much of the frustration associated with dating. As Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.”
To ask someone out or to accept a date means to agree to spend a couple of hours getting to know someone and to treat him or her with kindness and respect. A date is not a commitment to be together exclusively from that point forward; it is not a commitment to become engaged or to get married; it is not a commitment to raise a future family together. If people eliminated false expectations and focused on showing kindness and getting to know one another, dating could become much more enjoyable.
An understanding of expectations will not magically occur, you must communicate. Different expectations almost always guarantee heartache. If one of you thinks the two of you are hanging out while the other thinks you are on a date, or if one of you commits to a couple of hours together while the other assumes you have begun preparation for your engagement, there is a good chance neither of you will be happy by the end of the evening. Both of you must decide what your time together means. ..
.. As you patiently seek to realize in your life the ideals of marriage and family, you will draw nearer to Heavenly Father and our Savior and significantly increase your chances of developing a meaningful relationship. The joyous rewards of dating are more than worth the effort ..
Dating and Missionary Work
As a past mission president who also teaches missionary preparation at BYU, I’ve found that many of the lessons learned by missionaries can apply to the dating scene. .
Examples include the following:
See dating as a spiritual, not just social, activity.
Realize that God is interested in your success. Just as He will help you on your mission, ..
Be purposeful. .. Honor agency. You should invite, not coerce.
Do not let rejection or heartbreak keep you down. ..
Develop charity. The more Christlike love you have for others, the more natural you will be and the more enjoyable your dating experience will be."
If you would like to read the whole article in your own time, the link is below.
www.lds.org/ensign/2016/04/young-adults/taking-the-fear-out-of-dating
I know that dating can be fun, and I also know that dating can be difficult. It is not a good idea for have expectations that the first date goes very well and leads to another date. I would always suggest to give it a day or a few days after the first date, to follow up with whom you went on a date to see how did the date go and if you enjoyed your time, express that to him or her. Remember to be patient.
That is all from me for now. For the next month, I plan to blog sometime each day/each night.
This post is actually based on an Ensign article from April, 2016 and it is called, "Taking the Fear Out of Dating," by Michael A. Goodman. I would like to share with you some highlights while I was reading the article and I hope you will learn something new.
 |
| "Love is meant to be an adventure." - Gordon B. Hinckley. |
"Dating and courtship can be both brutal and beautiful. Because life is busy and dating sometimes causes frustration, some young people may choose to simply not date. .. Yet prophets continue to encourage young single adults to become more engaged in trying to become engaged to realize the ideal of marriage and family.
Though no one can fully control the process of progression toward marriage ..
Patiently Prepare Yourself
Ask yourself, “How can I create more wholeness and happiness in my life now so I can eventually share that happiness with another?” Then act on the inspiration and the ideas that come. .. Some young adults pray and long for a temple marriage but feel they have no power to obtain one. .. Doctrine and Covenants 58:3–4 applies:
“Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
“For after much tribulation come the blessings.”
Sometimes tribulation simply means that things don’t happen when you think they should. In the words of Elder Neal A. Maxwell, you must exercise “faith in the Lord’s timing for you personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes.” This doesn’t mean you simply stand by. As the Prophet Joseph Smith wrote to the Saints, "Let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.".
Live Life Relationally
You can also prepare for your ideal marriage by learning to live your life relationally (that is, focused on building all types of relationships with others) before you find yourself in a dating relationship. Many feel so much pressure to focus on individual achievement and self-fulfillment that they put these things ahead of other people. ..
.. The Savior taught us to prioritize our relationships with God and with each other above all else. If it becomes your nature to love God and love your neighbor, you’ll be better prepared to develop the kind of dating relationship that can blossom into eternal love.
Seek Opportunities
Put yourself in places where you can develop relationships with the kind of people you want to date. Though you might find a gem anywhere, you will more likely find one if you go where gems are often found. ..
If you would like to date people who have a strong relationship with God, go where people are striving to develop a strong relationship with God. .. You will meet the kind of people you would like to date by going to places and doing the kinds of things that those people do.
Deepen Select Relationships
As you live life relationally and seek opportunities, you will make many friends and acquaintances. .. Purposefully seek to deepen these relationships. Find opportunities to discuss topics beyond daily activities.
Show those you care about that you enjoy spending time with them. .. You may even feel inspired to invite someone to an activity that will allow the two of you to get to know each other in a deeper, more personal way. Before you know it, you might find yourself dating.
Communicate Expectations Openly
Once you begin dating, you must see the experience for what it is and recognize what it is not. Unhealthy and inaccurate expectations cause much of the frustration associated with dating. As Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Dating is pairing off to experience the kind of one-on-one association and temporary commitment that can lead to marriage in some rare and treasured cases.”
To ask someone out or to accept a date means to agree to spend a couple of hours getting to know someone and to treat him or her with kindness and respect. A date is not a commitment to be together exclusively from that point forward; it is not a commitment to become engaged or to get married; it is not a commitment to raise a future family together. If people eliminated false expectations and focused on showing kindness and getting to know one another, dating could become much more enjoyable.
An understanding of expectations will not magically occur, you must communicate. Different expectations almost always guarantee heartache. If one of you thinks the two of you are hanging out while the other thinks you are on a date, or if one of you commits to a couple of hours together while the other assumes you have begun preparation for your engagement, there is a good chance neither of you will be happy by the end of the evening. Both of you must decide what your time together means. ..
.. As you patiently seek to realize in your life the ideals of marriage and family, you will draw nearer to Heavenly Father and our Savior and significantly increase your chances of developing a meaningful relationship. The joyous rewards of dating are more than worth the effort ..
Dating and Missionary Work
As a past mission president who also teaches missionary preparation at BYU, I’ve found that many of the lessons learned by missionaries can apply to the dating scene. .
Examples include the following:
See dating as a spiritual, not just social, activity.
Realize that God is interested in your success. Just as He will help you on your mission, ..
Be purposeful. .. Honor agency. You should invite, not coerce.
Do not let rejection or heartbreak keep you down. ..
Develop charity. The more Christlike love you have for others, the more natural you will be and the more enjoyable your dating experience will be."
If you would like to read the whole article in your own time, the link is below.
www.lds.org/ensign/2016/04/young-adults/taking-the-fear-out-of-dating
I know that dating can be fun, and I also know that dating can be difficult. It is not a good idea for have expectations that the first date goes very well and leads to another date. I would always suggest to give it a day or a few days after the first date, to follow up with whom you went on a date to see how did the date go and if you enjoyed your time, express that to him or her. Remember to be patient.
That is all from me for now. For the next month, I plan to blog sometime each day/each night.
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